Feed the Monsters!

When I have kids someday, I’m going to tell them when they’re afraid at night of monsters under the bed or in a closet to feed the monsters. They can feed them by sneezing out their fear and worry, so that the monsters can eat it without having to pull it from them first. I’ll explain to them that Monsters are good creatures who like to eat human fear and worry to help us out. They don’t ever want to eat humans because their sharp teeth are magically designed only to bite and snag negative energy not human flesh. The fear they feel that tells them a monster is around isn’t really fear they’re feeling, but the panic that their fear and worries are feeling knowing they’re about to get caught and eaten.