Anger Management

Anger and rage are still taboo topics in society. If someone comes out as having a bad temper they are almost immediately ostracized by the public at large. Unfortunately, just like so many other things, anger is something we should talk about more, not less.

Let’s start of by making some clarifications: there is anger, ANGER, RAGE, and Blind Rage or Fury. These are not all the same thing, but levels of escalation. If you’re angry you likely just found someone keyed your new car. If you’re ANGRY then you just keyed someone’s car. If you’re in a RAGE, you likely just took a baseball bat to someone’s car while they were in it. And if you are in a Blind Rage or Fury, you may be soon guilty of murder. All these versions of anger though… they come from triggered emotions. Some people jump from annoyed to being a fury because of an emotional backload that keeps the person in a constant state of agitation. How do I know this? Simple, I’m that person. I have had issues with Rage and Fury my entire life. It’s something I’ve had to work on my entire life to understand and control. I’ve tried many recommended tools, and I’ve found many of my own from other sources. That’s what I want to share with you.

Not every anger management tool out there will work for every person. We are all individuals after all. However, by learning what works for others we can find ideas about what may work for us. Don’t get discouraged or angry about techniques that don’t work for you. Knowing that technique doesn’t work for you is actually a type of success. You have to rule out what doesn’t work before you can find what does work. For me, the whole “Just count to 10 if you start feeling angry” trick is the dumbest thing I have ever heard of! Seriously, how the F*** is that useful. All it does is annoy me more because I feel like I’m a grade schooler again being looked down on by everyone else in class.

What does work for me? There are a few things that help me keep my cool. First, I walk away. If whatever it was (human, computer, cell phone, door jamb after stubbing my toe, whatever) is still in my sight, I’m likely to lash out. When I get angry at any level my body tends to shoot out a lot of adrenaline instantly and it clouds my judgment just as quickly. The second thing that helped me start to get control was a nice heavy 80lbs punching bag. Due to that rush, I needed to clear my system as fast as possible of adrenaline so I could get my mind back on track. Nothing clears the head like some physical exercise for me. The third trick I learned was from a book titled Zen in the Martial Arts by Joe Hyams. There is a story in the book about the author having a panic attack while facing a major health issue and Joe talks about how he recognized how the panic attack was only making his situation worse. Joe also talks about the techniques he used to calm down and regain control of his body’s actions which arrested the panic attacks effects on his already dire situation. When I read that section of the book it was dawned on me that I could use the same techniques for my temper if I could just train my brain to recognize the situation like Joe was able to.

With this new technique idea in mind I started consciously monitoring my emotions as often as I could. It was not easy and even to this day it’s not always easy to keep a mental third person point of view on myself and my actions. It does oddly work though, and every year, more and more I’m able to keep that point of view active and keep my temper under control with ever increasing regularity. Some days I do still need to go hit my punching bag, or spend a couple hours at the gym to clear myself of building stress, but I am now much more confident that when RAGE and FURY hit me it will be for a justifiable reason rather than because I stubbed my toe, and if I do need to physically let loose… I know I’ll only hit my punching bag.

Again not everyone is the same when it comes to anger, rage, and fury. We all have our own minds and life circumstances. However, if you are reading this and have temper issues yourself, I hope my conversation with you here will help you get the control you need or at least give you an idea for how to work on getting the control you need. No one enjoys being controlled by their emotions. Especially those of us whose main emotion seems to get us in all sorts of trouble, but hiding the fact that we have such emotions just places a greater burden on yourself and makes your temper that much more volatile. Take a step back mentally, physically, or both and do what you need to be in control of yourself the way you want to be in control. Trust me, if I can do it… anyone can! I just wish I’d have known all this when I was a kid. Then my family, the walls in the house, the doors in the house, and steering wheel of my first car, and several other things would have remained in much better condition! These days, the only thing I feel like I’m likely to damage is my own wrists from the meditative effect I get while hitting my heavy bag or lifting weights a few racks up from what I should probably be using on those bad stress days.

I hope you feel better about who you are after reading this. It was and still is a hard subject for me to talk about openly because I hate being out of control. However, taking control and starting a discussion with you all, is another step I’ve been needing to take.

Take care, and be peaceful. 

It Could Never Happen Here

“It could never happen here.” Is one of the dumbest thought patterns humans seem to have. I’m not sure why the human brain is designed for denial, but it most certainly is. This mentality of seeing something bad happen elsewhere in the country, or in the world and people thinking “How sad, I’m glad that could never happen here.” is a trap of the denial mindset. We need to break out of that mental pattern and admit that anything can happen at any time and plan for ways to prevent it.

How can we break that mindset? There are a few ways. First, anytime something bad or strange happens take a few moments to think about what you would do in that situation. A major example that is currently going on would be Riots. This year we’ve had a few riots in the United States, how would you react if there was one in your city? Would you get caught up in the insanity and participate? Would you hide in your home with a frying pan clutched in your hand all night? Would you sit at home with your home defense firearm of choice nearby and loaded? How long would you stay like that? How long could you stay like that? Do you have provisions (Food, water, candles, flashlights, batteries)? It’s something to think about.

Personally, I think if riots started in my city I’d be at home with the lights off and every firearm I own loaded and close by. I know I have food and water to get through at least one night safely. Fortunately many riots die down during daylight hours, but what if it didn’t? A lot of people joke about what they’d do during the “Zombie Apocalypse” riots are just the real world version of that. A severe storm can place you in a similar situation as well though. However, it’s something that most people never really plan for. You can’t always make a last minute fix work. This is why planning is necessary.

Back to our example of a riot: night one, hide out. What about morning after one? Seeing as how the riots that have happened this year have always lasted more than one night, and have escalated on the second, what is your next step? I have already decided that if the riot did die down on the morning after, I’d pack up everything I care about and need then split town. Sometimes just a few miles will get you to a safe area to weather the next night while being able to sleep. You may even be close enough to still go to work. If you can’t make it to work though, call in sick. If you’ll be fired over it, so be it. Your safety is far more important than a job. Your family’s safety is far more important than a paycheck. Do what you must to be safe!

What if the riot doesn’t die down or roads/bridges are too damaged for you to get away? That’s where you hope you hope you have your “Zombie apocalypse” survival kit stocked up! Either way, start inventorying everything you have in your house. Figure out what you have and see if you can make it work. If you don’t have water and the water is still working, fill up every container you have! Heck, clean and fill your bathtub up with water too, it’s better to skip bathing than to die of thirst. Next, check on your friendly, peace loving neighbors. Do not go to houses you don’t know, do not go to the house that has the delinquent teens who get brought home by the police on a regular basis. Check on the old lady who lives across the street, but do so carefully! Everyone will be scared and on a shoot first fight or flight mode. Call out from the curb if you’re approaching a house, call out from the hall if you’re in an apartment/condo complex. Keep your voice calm and soothing though! Keep your protection with you at all times!!! Be paranoid, but don’t be too scared to take action. If you can get your neighbors together you can share resources. Someone may have a ton of batteries, someone may be a hobby candle maker, someone may be a doomsayer and have a fully stocked bunker with enough provisions to keep the entire peace loving collection of neighbors safe and fed.  Again though, Be Safe! Riots can bring out the dark side of anyone, so keep that protection at hand whether it be a steak knife, a cast iron skillet, or an AR-15. Get the best group you can. Grab your emergency documents and your backpack of things you can’t live without. Get your group together and stay in the safest location you can get to with your neighborhood peace loving pack of allies. It’s always safer to be in a group than to be alone. The larger the group of peace loving people, the better!

Do I sound like a crazy person? Probably, but I’d rather be safe and crazy sounding than dead with people thinking I was reasonable.

“It could never happen here.” You’ll be surprised just how easily it can happen here. Being prepared in case something bad happens is always better than assuming nothing bad can ever happen. As the old saying goes “Hope for the best, but plan for the worst.” There is no harm done by being prepared. No one gets hurt. However, if you aren’t prepared, there is a much greater chance of something bad happening. Switch off your denial setting in your mind and make sure you are ready. I’m sure there were many people in Milwaukee and many in Charlotte who “knew” riots would never happen there.  

…and the Anti-Gun community proves the Pro-Gun point once again

So tonight a sound bite is going around again claiming that Donald Trump is calling for Hillary’s assassination. He did not say anything at all along those lines!

Effectively Trump said, if you are anti-gun and believe being gun-free is the path to peace, then start with yourself. People who are pro-gun have also said this same thing many times. Basically, Mrs. Clinton, please put your money where your mouth is. Remove the guns from yourself (No idea if she’s armed or not, just covering all the bases.) and from your security team and show us that you are willing to start the process.

No one is saying she can’t have a tactical vest for protection, no one is saying her security can’t have vests. Heck no one is saying they can’t have Tasers, Billy clubs, or even baseball bats. All Trump and the rest of the Pro-gun community have asked time and time again is for Hillary to live by the principals she professes are the future America needs to fight and reduce gun violence.

That’s it. That’s all that was said/inferred/meant/ yadda yadda yadda…. If you are anti-gun you will only ever be seen as a hypocrite if you are simultaneously using guns for protection. Even worse, you are proving yourself to be a coward.

Here’s the real truth. Hillary Clinton knows she’s safer with armed security. She knows that the “Common sense gun law” debate is a joke and waste of time. She also knows that it’s polarizing and is good for making each side more divided. What Hillary (and Obama) has yet to realize is: Guns are not a Republican vs. Democrat issue. There are a lot of Democrat’s who are hunters, gun collectors, or competition sport shooters. It’s a losing topic, but it’s a great distraction!

You don’t have to take my word for it, do your own research. Yes, I could share a million links on the subject, but someone would claim they were biased or from ‘untrustworthy sources’, or some other reason. However, I will make a recommendation on where to start. Chicago (Obama’s favorite city) has some of the strictest gun laws in the country. Look at gun violence numbers there, then compare them to a state with less strict gun laws. Texas, Colorado, Wyoming, and Alaska are a few I can think of off the top of my head. California has strict gun laws as well and may be, size wise, more comparable to Texas.

As for what Trump said, seriously, calm down. He in no way suggested assassination! The Democrats assuming that Trumps remark suggesting that Hillary disarm to prove her point means she will be assassinated, just proves that the Pro-gun people are correct in stating that no law stop criminals, but a fear of being shot does! 

It's Constitution Day!

The anniversary of the signing of the Constitution of The United States of America!

There are many so many things citizens of The United States take for granted. If you read The Constitution you will quickly see so many things you do daily that were specifically written out as an Unalienable Right.

Why did the founding fathers and those who came after feel the need to put these Rights in writing? That's simple. They'd just fought the Revolutionary War so they could stop having these rights repressed by tyrannical governments.

The very First Amendment of the Constitution was: "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances." You know when you say Obama is a jerk, or that George W. Bush was a war monger. Or you state that the Christian God is a fairy tale. If you said that before the Revolutionary War you would be jailed for it... sometimes you would have your tongue cut out, or just be hung for treasonous speech. Yeah, it really was that bad.

The Second Amendment was the Right to Bear Arms:" A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed." Why was this the second thing the founding fathers thought to put in to place? Simple, again, they just fought a war to win their freedom and wanted to ensure that if anything ever went wrong in the future that The People would be able to fight to keep their Rights. They wanted as many citizens to be armed as possible so that they could challenge the government should it turn tyrannical at any point in the future.

The Third Amendment added was" No Soldier shall, in time of peace be quartered in any house, without the consent of the Owner, nor in time of war, but in a manner to be prescribed by law." This was a major issue in times past but less of an issue now. Still something to look up and understand the importance of. If you are a poor farmer and you suddenly were told you had to house and feed 20 soldiers, you wouldn't be very happy.

The Fourth Amendment: "The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized. Is to prevent legal harassment. If you don't have a justifiable reason to accuse someone of a crime, no law enforcement agency can search or seize your person, home, or property." (Again, this was a huge issue pre-revolution and there are even issues today along the same lines.)

The Fifth Amendment: "No person shall be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise infamous crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of a Grand Jury, except in cases arising in the land or naval forces, or in the Militia, when in actual service in time of War or public danger; nor shall any person be subject for the same offence to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb; nor shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself, nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor shall private property be taken for public use, without just compensation." This may be one the the most important parts of the entire document. It is also why 2nd amendment supporters and many others are against the current "No fly, No Buy" gun restriction laws the Democratic Party keeps pushing for.

These are just the first 5 amendments of The Constitution. There are many more and as a citizen of The United States of America, you have the right to know them all. You can read the entire constitution at will in many places. The sections I copied are from http://www.constitutionday.com/constitutional-amendments-bill-of-rights.html 

Dying Alone

A show I was watching was talking about "dying alone" and I realized something.

No one dies alone. Anytime someone dies they take a small portion of soul from every single person who knows them. That's why it hurts. You can fill the void by making new friends, but that piece of your soul will forever be gone.

This isn't really as sad of a thought as you may be thinking though. Take a second and process what I said. That person who died has a part of you with them forever for whatever is 'next'.

Even if you're an atheist like me, think about the science of energy. Energy can not simply cease to exists. It's always in a new form instantly if the last form stops for any reason. Every time you interact with your friends, whether it be a hug, kiss, handshake, or even a fist bump... you're sharing energy like kids (in my day and before) became blood brothers. You are literally a part of your friends, family, and loved ones on a scientifically proven level.

This means that when they die, you will always have a part of them with you. This isn't wishy washy religion, it's science.

So the next time you are thinking about that person you lost. Remember that they are in some way with you, and you are in some way with them. Then think about what they'd say to you about being sad and missing them. Do you think they'd want you to be miserable? I doubt it.

When I die and you all are thinking of me, know that I'd tell you to smile and go do something silly. If that doesn't work, know I'd grab your tits (ladies) and kick you in the balls (gentlemen) because that's the type of weird person I am. I want people to be happy even if I'm not with them. I love life and the adventures people can find, and I hope all of you do too... even if I'm not there with my camera taking a thousand photos of moss on a tree while you impatiently wait for my ass to finish.

So, again, next time you're sad over the memory of a loss in your life, just connect to that small portion of the person that is a part of you and listen to their advice. Most of our friends know they're smarter than we are anyway! 

September 11

Today, yet again, the internet is full of people saying "I remember". They are pushing the idea that remembering the attacks on September 11th 2001 is enough. They are dead wrong.

Here are my questions for those of you who are remembering:

• What actions have you personally taken to prevent such attacks from happening again? 
• What have you done to improve the world? 
• What have you done to stop religious hate? 

If you have no answer for those questions, you may as well forget what happened all those years ago. You clearly didn't learn anything.

For those of you who are sitting in church today, I have two more questions.

• How many people have been murdered in the name of the religion you follow? 
• Are you really okay with being a part of that history? 

You can claim all you want that it's zealots who push religion too far. That they are responsible for the deaths in the name of your faith. You can claim that you are representing what your religion really means. You can claim that you are far more open to other faiths than (insert alternate faith here).

We all know the truth though. Those are the exact same words any and every zealot has used to justify the atrocities they have committed. If you are religious, you are carrying along with you all of the sins, all of the horrors, all of the blood of those who have been unjustly murdered because they believed something different.

We will never have the peace your religion promises to provide, until religion no longer exists. If there are sides to choose between, someone will always think theirs is the best and be willing to do anything to prove it. Sadly, that is the human condition.

Twitter is full of interesting debates.

The bases of the debate is: Can Male to Female Transgenders have a Period?

Now, let's start off with the definition of a "Period" also called a Menstrual Period or Menstrual Cycle.

Menstrual cycle: The monthly cycle of changes in the ovaries and the lining of the uterus (endometrium), starting with the preparation of an egg for fertilization. When the follicle of the prepared egg in the ovary breaks, it is released for fertilization and ovulation occurs. Unless pregnancy occurs, the cycle ends with the shedding of part of the endometrium, which is menstruation. Although it is actually the end of the physical cycle, the first day of menstrual bleeding is designated as "day 1" of the menstrual cycle in medical parlance.

(From http://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=7865) 

Based on that definition the simple answer is No. At this time a gender changing operation does not give genetically born men ovaries, eggs, nor a functional uterus. 

However, according to some articles transwomen can have symptoms like those of a genetic woman. (http://www.theestablishment.co/2016/05/31/yes-trans-women-can-get-period-symptoms/)

Now this debate is much like the gender debate we already have about which bathroom to use if you're Transgender. If you feel like you are menstruating does it count as an actual Menstrual Cycle? If you feel like a woman but were born with a male body it's said that you can count as a woman. Where and when do feelings override science?

This, to me, is a massive mess of fuzzy logic. Feelings are not scientific fact. You are either menstruating or your are not. If you feel like you are.. it's likely you need to change your diet and lay off the hormone pills for a bit because you are damaging your body.

As always I am open to your opinions and welcome Friendly Debate. If you're an ass/bitch about this, you are welcome to make your own blog and rant there, leave a link in the comments here so those who want to see it can. I just expect people to have good manners on my page.